Epic Fail?

7:34.  We are all in the kitchen at this point, dressed and ready to go.  Sid-tastic is sleeping.  Riley and Adrian are thirsty.  I still have to make my coffee and get everyone out the door.  Riley says she wants tea.  I pull out a sippy cup of iced tea from the refrigerator.  I offer it to her.  She starts to cry.

“No, not that one.”

“This is tea,” I say.  “If you want tea, here it is.”

She starts crying even harder.

“What is it?” I ask.  “Why are you crying?”

“You hurt my feelings,” she says.

I didn’t mean to.  I swear I didn’t.  I pulled Riley into a hug.  I forgot what time it was and what I was doing.  I just wanted to hold her and rewind a few minutes and have a little more patience.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her.  “I didn’t mean to.”  I wanted to explain.  “Mornings are hard for mommy sometimes.  I have to get all of us ready and out the door, and sometimes I just get frustrated.”

I got her milk instead in a new sippy cup.  I filled up Adrian’s iced tea.  I made my coffee.  We all headed to the car, smiley and ready for the day.  We left the house about fifteen minutes after I wanted to leave.  But what’s fifteen minutes, really?

Today’s been a good one, except I keep coming back to the morning and hurting my daughter’s feelings.  That’s an epic fail – to borrow some gaming language – right?  But it’s also part of the mother-child relationship.  She’ll hurt my feelings.  I’ll hurt hers.  It happens.  It will happen.  She will cry, and I will be responsible.  I’ll cry, and she will be the cause.  Still, I hate that I was responsible for her tears this morning.  I hate that I hurt her feelings.

Thursdays are just tough for me.  Here’s hoping tomorrow morning, I will have more patience.  And maybe by the time the next Thursday rolls around, I’ll be ready for it, too.

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